our lives ending".

It's a slice of sadness but the album is somewhat optimistic. It's just a severed section of lyrics that I happen to be hooked on as of the moment, from the wonderful song "Rooms and Gardens" by The Appleseed Cast. Nice drumming.

I'm sitting here waiting for a buzz to come and the evening has just finished raining. There's that sweet smell of wet pavement, of concrete and rain that just screams summer to me.

Girl W is so beautiful. Just beautiful. Does she really like me? It sometimes wracks my brain.

How can Girl X swerve away from me like a drunken driver riding from the bars? Every time I try to catch sight of her, she just careens around another crazy corner. Playing games with me isn't self-destructive, though. It won't hurt her, but it might hurt me. That's fair.

Girl Y is beautiful and I'm glad to know her. She's beautiful in a lot of ways.

Girl Z is someone I can't make my mind up about, and it bothers me. And it bothers her.

And all of these girls, these last letters of the alphabet, are great. And they're a fraction of my life but they feel more substantial. And time will tell how far that extends, anyway.

Florence, I miss you. I miss seeing myself in rain puddles gathered from a storm while haze blankets a piazza scattered with kids or old men.

Old me: strung out from Euros and shortchanged in the USA. I'm just nickles and dimes and pocket change. I should practically jingle when I walk.

Having a job is nice, though.

Tonight I'm going to go for a drive. I'm going to drive up to the same hill and try to soak in something I was too far away from.

I remember a woman telling me once that she couldn't have everything, so she didn't want anything, and her cigarette in niccotone-stained fingers made me more sad than anything. I am not a prancing attitude adjustment, nor could I ever hope to possibly reach her. It's not my duty, sure, but as a human being, I'd like to think that we all have some sort of obligation to just at least help each other out a little. Don't you? Wouldn't it be a tad sadistic otherwise?

I say this while bombs are hitting villages in countries I'm not aware of. Lives click shut like a camera with twice the shutter speed and it happens all the time. If I could be aware of it all for one moment, I'd probably just not be able to get out of bed, or want to.

It's 10:37 in the evening and I'm not even close to being tired. I could hop in the car right now, idle some time away with some old computer games, or typity type type. I think I'll just go. Toodles.