Her: I miss you. I need attention.
Me: "I know, babe!"
"I've been spending a lot of time with Dave lately."
"I know."
"Like a lot."
"Yes'm."
"But I just want someone to cuddle with and kiss!"
"Well, maybe Dave could help you."
"But he doesn't like to cuddle."
Whu - but kissing? They KISSED ALREADY?! Oh, she knew exactly what she was omitting!
JJAJARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGG
OOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Here, this is the bullshit point first: that I know that we've broken up and we can see other people and that it's fair. It is. That makes sense to me, but what really did it was that I was totally missing the point tonight.
I was so proccupied with it, this crazed lunatic-artist vision of my ex-girlfriend thrashing around with some greek sex god (High Fidelity nails that scene) that I sort of missed the point. Or, for some of you who know me well, "ran past the stage". Again.
She had brought me a very sweet book, just a small story of two characters hanging out, talking about how much they like eachother. It sounds Hallmark but it's not - it's damn cute. And she asked me to come over after work and I refused because I needed sleep and because I had to work early tomorrow. Yeah, I need sleep. I know, it's stupid. I'm sometimes some sort of sleep-creature, devouring as much as I can.
Sometimes I guess it devours MY COMMON SENSE, like tonight. Even if she kissed this fellow, she still said that she felt like she was cheating on me with him. It's the relationship shaking and shedding off layers, and time helps that, but I know what she means. I'm not seeing anyone but I know exactly what she means. I'm sure I'm allowed to give myself the privledge of feeling a bit jealous or sad - but man, this girl. The day I take her kindness for granted is the day I'll back over myself in my own car.
My SPRING FEVER doesn't exist at the moment. I don't have any drive to go out and do some awesome swan-dive of promicuity into the dating pool. I miss her and that's that. Besides, I mean, look:
this really does feel like a journal entry, for once,
Jared