There isn't enough salt lake to

to lie in.

There isn't enough sky to fly in, so softly.

There isn't enough air to breathe, not for me. -Filter "God Damn Me".

It's off the new album, with Richard singing of the span of America. It's sort of a basis of the album. You know, coming from Italy to here after a period of time shapens and sweetens the Americana that I have the oppertunity to see every day. Now every cowboy hat I see isn't something laughable but rather a very real culture that is peeking in to see me. The mountains are now something that I appriciate, and the expanses of land that lie at the tip of the horizon like a destination are tranquil even from here, even from the neon on and off of road signs, arrows, construction and waiting tables. Interesting, yes.

"And it feels like

you're either with me or against me.

and it feels like

every way is the wrong way." -Filter, "Everything is the Wrong Way"

It sounds like a summer anthem, even if it's a bit negative. This summer, I was discussing with a cohort today, is not like others. It feels like you have to be a certain age to still have the chlorine and mowed-lawn parts in you that are leftover from other summers. But I can't run in sprinklers at the moment and the swim-team days are long gone, and instead I go to work, come home, and repeat. I slept for 13 hours the other day. Where is all of this going?

"Where do we go from here? You know I'm not the only one." -Filter

I don't picture it cumulating to anything, to a cumulous cloud raining down the rest of my life. It's just as open as the spaces I described before, and tranquil like waters that haven't been stirred because I HAVEN'T stirred them yet. It's not exactly optimistic but it IS realizing that I have more fortune and oppertunity starting me in the face than other people, and sometimes I sleep through it, sometimes stumble, but am I capable of taking it, just pulling the ol' carpe diem and such? The only thing that makes it daunting is that it's like the Predator - it's invisible. It's unlike the Predator because it doesn't have razor-sharp claws, laser-guided targeting systems, heat-vision, and a hobby of skinning human beings (I hope). Fine, the metaphor sucked. Fuck you.

heh, in other news: Justin comes home soon!@#$ Also, my birthday is at the end of this month. 22. Ye gods, hand me the walker and start spooning the mush, because I'm getting up there. I might as well clock into the rest home now. Can you get personalized walkers? Can I get mine emblazoned with band names and such? I'll be such a cool old man. If I make it. I'm putting my liver to the test tonight, since I have a rad day off tomorrow. Take care, you all. I'll go more into detail about the Filter album and keep pretending that you all care about it. Jerks.

"Stop dreaming about that shiney gun..."

Jared