Maybe I'm in love with saying too much, or writing poems to girls who can only smile at them... it's not a bad thing to appriciate someone, but to just complicate matters when the inevitable trajectory of the situation = her + ex-boyfriend. My affections don't really have any USE. You can't fill your car with them and get going. You can't preheat for 2 hours and then serve four with them. I wrote poems and I haven't even shown them to her. For what? Why not? Right now, I guess a bigger question might be "why", at all. Maybe I'm just being rough with myself and I don't need to be, but at this moment I feel sheepish and as big a complication as a knot in fishing wire. Like I should be all smiles and compliments when maybe, just maybe, someone doesn't want or need them. And like I get everything that I want. I don't think I'm spoiled. I just think I'm lucky. But I can't be that all the time, now can I?

Otherwise, it wouldn't accentuate the better times.

Look at me - all stupid and wound up over something that could be done in days. Or not. I don't HATE myself, of course. But I could use a good kick in the shins.

drat, drat, a plague on both my houses,

Jared