As some of you know, myself and another lad who had been at the consulting company were layed off about two weeks ago. Very surprising, considering that the other guy had been there for a year. Even moreso, the total staff there now clocks in at a staggering 5 people.

Then again, they weren't closing deals and were struggling financially. So I was given my last check, and I left, standing in the middle of downtown Denver at 9:00am, bewhildered. Things seemed to be going so well in my life, and a cautionary part of my brain suggested "just wait".

I hate being cynical but it's getting hard. Annie and I spoke a few days ago, severing contact and our relationship. So a month ago I had a new exciting job and a girl who I loved. Now they're both gone and I'm left with the one thing I didn't have before: a monthly rent to meet.

I don't really know what to do. I know a few other of my friends who are in the same boat. In fact, the night before I was layed off (as I drove to Boulder to see a great concert of The Stars with good friend Nate Ragolia), Brian and I were speaking of how in our group of three old-school friends (also including Justin, for a set of three), we never could all seem to have jobs at the same time. Well, at least I got to call him the morning I got layed off and exclaim that, in fact, we all DID have something in common now!

Bad news: I can't get unemployement because I wasn't there long enough. Still no health insurance. And I have the flu.

I miss Annie. I miss a sense of stability and confident direction of the future. I hate feeling like this. Things are hard.

But I have a great roommate and he and I get to have heady conversations about music theory and onward, so that's nice. It's one of the nicest things at the moment, actually.

Older friends have come out of the woodwork, though. I can't seem to bring myself to hang out with them. I sleep a lot. I feel like I'm turning a blind eye towards this bad hand I've been dealt, but I can't do that for long, now can I?

Jason (my roommate) goes to work at 8:30 and I stand in our apartment, waiting. I don't know for what. I watch the sunlight creep through our kitchen with the morning. I'm always up early now. That's a good thing.

As said, I don't have a lot of Good Things happening. But I've got good friends. Throw me a phone call if you get the chance, I'd love to talk to any of you.

Sorry for this entry's tone. But it's true.

best,
Jared