Until I'm in love.

Is it pop psychology or just

chemicals in us?

La morte d'amour." -Tuesday Weld

Sometimes living in the present is fun. A lot of us have places we've been and then mentally anchored ourselves to it, content to live in memory while the present so rudely tries to jostle you out of it. That's good and all, and I suppose I'm guilty of doing that as well, but there's something so exciting about the idea that the second afetr the next has never been experienced before: that even mediocrity is constantly shifting flavors, like anything else.

In trying to get the "big picture" of where we are, where we're going, that sort of critical question for the pre-graduate college student, I think it's flawed. On a horizontal scale of time, how can you predict anything?

"If you gave me the tools

could I tamper my future?" -Pitchshifter

At the same time, you can certainly guide yourself, to stop feeling like a bullet fresh from a chamber, fired, still steaming gunpowder and randomness. Aim a bit. Guiding the trajectory is possible, don't you think?

Hiesenburg's Uncertainty Principle is another way of looking at this. Theoretically, we can never simultaneously identify the position and momentum of an atom (or much of anything else). One negates the other: the more information we have on a particle's trajectory, the less information we have about where it was before, or rather, where it will be, and vice versa. You can never know where you are, but only where you're going. Where you "are" is as old as the word "are" in quotations that you just read. Language makes it hard to pinpoint. Not that I'm complaining.

I have a strange fascination with something that completely beguiles my love of English. I really like the theories of quantum physics. heh. That makes me sort of uncomfortable, as I'm supposed to hate science, but how can you not be fascinated by the theory of existance, tangibility of time, or a definition of love through science? None of this chemical-reaction breaking down of love into hormones and firing neurons: it exists and what about that existance? What about it, indeed. Without it, life would read like a science textbook index.

JOB: Pg. 343

WORK: Pg. 216

ROUTINE: Pg. 823

Some people ask me why I fall in love so easily. Since we all have the fortune of being here together during this time, why not?

page 564,

Jared