We're preparing for a huge storm here (although it may not happen). We're going to war. I've been dragging today and have had barely a "hello" and more of a "clean that up" from my roommate in two days. I just got off the phone with my dad. Two things have happened. One is that my brother has had a seizure although the severity of it is not known. The other is that my dad was approached by his work for a request to move out to CA. He declined, which means that he's done there, most likely within the week. This directly affects, in turn, my finances in Italy, as my family doesn't know when he'll have a job again. This, and our economy is terrible and me, graduating into it. I'm not one to be hyperdramatic and say "I can't take it anymore" if something like my coffee is too hot happens, but I don't want this all right now. I'm sitting here staring at the screen and I feel like I'm taking up oxygen.

This isn't self-pity because feeling sorry for yourself is useless. I'm just tired. I don't want devil's advocates or opinions or proposals or deadlines - right this second, I curiously don't want anything. It's not that I'm void of desire - I just want things to stop happening for a little bit. And this placidness makes me nervous. "lonely" is not the right word.

did I dream,

Jared